23 lines
1.6 KiB
JSON
23 lines
1.6 KiB
JSON
[
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"There has never been a sadness that can’t been cured by breakfast food.",
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"Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars.",
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"Shorts over six inches are capri pants, shorts under six inches are European.",
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"Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That’s ridiculous.",
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"Well, I am not usually one for speeches. So, goodbye.",
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"I change my locks every 16 days.",
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"Are you going to tell a man that he can't fart in his own car?",
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"I love nothing.",
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"Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something.",
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"My son is several weeks old. He is very familiar with the sound of power tools.",
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"Do you have any history of mental illness in your family? I have an uncle who does yoga.",
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"If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party.",
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"The three most useless jobs in the world in order are: lawyer, congressman, and doctor.",
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"One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.",
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"I hate everything.",
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"I’ve had the same haircut since 1978 and I’ve driven the same car since 1991. I’ve used the same wooden comb for three decades. I have one bowl. I still get my milk delivered by horse.",
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"Tom put all my records into this rectangle!",
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"It’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it.",
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"My first ex-wife’s name is Tammy. My second ex-wife’s name is Tammy. My Mom’s name is Tamara…she goes by Tammy.",
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"Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness."
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]
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